Merry Christmas world

Christmas is here! Had an amazing dinner last night. That Sainsbury's instant roast shit is great! Takes almost all the work out of cooking. Had this decadent turkey breast with apple and cranberry stuffing, all covered with slabs and slabs of bacon. Coupled with my famous roast potatoes, loads of sprouts and Penfolds. :) Delectable. I guess that almost makes up for the fact that I'm stuck in the hall this season. Well, S is hanging out with me, which makes things more bearable. Missing W terribly. Especially after talking to her about last Christmas (cue cheesy Wham! song), when we went to watch our first ballet together (is there a ballet virginity thing? maybe that's just the deviant me), and the gastronomic heaven that is Frederick's. Sigh.....

London Friday Nights

A Bloody Mary, too many cigarettes, Jonathan Ross and Martin Scorsese later, here I am again, too late, too cold, and too bored. It seems that I've never truly made full use of my time here in London. There are always too many gigs, and too many performances which I've missed. I've spent too much time frittering it away in the lab, and in Forbidden Planet. Though I have to say, Forbidden Planet has got to be one of my favourite places in this city. Call it the geek in me, or whatever.

I've been here for more than 4 years now, and I've only ever been to 1 concert, 1 musical (if you call the series of random dance routines that is Fosse a musical) and 1 live gig. I have no idea where my time has gone. Albeit I've pretty much seen every single DJ worth seeing in my time here. Copious amounts of dance music don't seem to assuage this feel that I could be living a little more. Living a little harder. It's quite difficult when your heart is in another country, and your mind is in an incubator.

Happy Days

Ok, so the past few blogs have been pretty depressing. Things have managed to sort themselves out, and though the cells aren't glowing the way that they are supposed to, I'm generally feeling better about myself these days.

Can't believe Christmas is just around the corner again. It seems like the older you get, the faster time seems to fly by. Been a year since I've seen the Nutcraker last Christmas with WB. This year it's not going to be nearly as fun. Actually going to be stuck in the lab still the 23rd trying to rush as much work off as possible before the college shuts down. Then I'm going to be stuck in the Hall because I cleverly decided to take on Christmas duty this year. So it's going to be Half Life 2, and Unreal Tournament 2003 from 24th to the 29th of December. Note to self: Remember to stock up on food so I don't starve in that period of time.

Listening to: Moby - Play (So refreshing listening to it again after shelving it for 2 years)

Bad days

Things are pretty shitty right now. Been playing copious amounts of Need For Speed Underground in a sad attempt to keep my mind occupied, but even when racing around at a virtual 150 mph it tends to drift, which inevitably leads my my very souped RSX crashing. Sat there for 6 hours last night, seeking escape in virtual cars.

Isn't it a wonder how the one thing that can make your life seem like a dream, just turns around and becomes this nightmare, that consumes your waking moments? It's like this monstrosity that eats up my life, and there's not much left, not even enough to win the circuit race in medium difficulty.

Empty nights

Hurtful words
Tear away
At our hearts, our minds
Seething thoughts
And a pair of helpless hands
I wish I were a better person
Bittersweet romance
And a love that binds
Me to you
More than life

Red Bull and CHO

It's yet another one of those mad, staying in the lab overnight to sample, painful eyes, freaking cold london nights again. Yes, here I am, at almost 1am in the morning sitting in my office trying to make sense of research and contribute to the greater good of humanity. Grr... sometimes I'm not sure whether I like this kind of life or not. I get a huge sense of satisfaction knowing that my work actually means something, as opposed to mindless corporate minionhood. But still, there's got to be an easier way to make a difference. Or maybe not? The very act of trying to make a difference is inevitably frought with trials and tribulations? Damn I miss my girlfriend. Long distance sucks.

Listening to: DJ Tiesto-Parade of the Atheletes

Holed up

Stuck in the hall this weekend because of vice warden duty. It's always good to have time to myself, sit in my room, reflect and chill out. But strangely, this weekend it's been awfully lonely. I know everyone has to deal with loneliness, but for some reason I've just been escaping. The one good thing that came out of a pretty much useless saturday was reading The Alchemist. It's been sitting in my room for ages. I must have bought it about 3 months back, and I never got round to reading it. I have to say, that the reviews really do give it justice. I admire writers who are able to use simple language and simple stories to convey something just a little deeper, and just a little wonderful. Probably not the best review ever, or the most well written, but then again, I'm hardly Hemingway.

Never rains it only pours

This is going to be a bitching/moaning/general whinging post, so if you don't want to read about it, go now.

Just when I thought that things were going fine, shit has to happen. And I made special effort to stay overnight to make sure the experiment was going according to plan as well! Though it would have been madness to stay overnight 2 days in a row, somehow I feel that maybe I should have. That way things would have been as screwed up as they are now. It probably doesn't mean much to anyone, but basically my shake flasks fell off the shaker platform, and the cells are well and truly screwed now. I feel like hitting someone. I get this feeling like I'm jinxed, like I'm really not meant to be doing this sort of work, despite all the effort I'm putting in.

A little better after that rant. Need some alcohol.