Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Encouragement

Just went for Bible Study this evening at D and A's place. I have to say that it was extremely encouraging. Truly "let us not give up meeting up together.... but let us encourage one another". It's far too easy in this world of materialism and fast living to be totally and utterly consumed by oneself. Self-centred living, seeking the satisfaction and fulfillment of ones own desires invariably leads to emptiness and loneliness. We seek solace in shallow relationships, and chemical diversions, only to find that the emptiness returns again and again. I never used to find Christian fellowship rewarding. People you hardly ever see, meet and put up fronts. After an hour or so, everyone leaves and goes back to their own lives. But of late, I've realised how fulfilling it is to actually attempt to make other people, be it friends or lovers, a priority in my life. I've lived too long simply seeking my own happiness. This sounds exceedingly selfish and self-righteous, but it's true, that suddenly, I'm no longer perpetually consumed by my own problems and desires. That being said, it's still a difficult step to take, to actually listen to others, and make it a point to be a better friend, rather than focus on oneself. I'm still trying.

Saturday, November 27, 2004

Disappointment and indignation

I've stumbled across an article in Today about autistic children and disability in Singapore. I have to say that I'm quite disgusted by the comments that certain persons have said.

[PM also said, "In helping the disabled, we must take a fair and practical approach, one that can be sustained over the long term, and will not impose too heavy a burden on society as a whole."]

Too heavy a burden on society? Franking, I'm not surprised that the government should take such a stance. The singaporean society (and the government that runs it) tends to determine an individual's value by his/her perceived contribution (in tax revenue) to society. And this whole idea what the individual bears a debt/duty towards society which has to be repaid is ridiculous. If an individual has a disability and does not contribute as much in tax revenue as the corporate minions at Raffles Place, does this person have less intrinsic worth? Of course not! Every single person is precious and unique, created in the image of God, and hence has value regardless of GDP.

The institution of government is for the representation and the protection of the people, and the provision of their needs. If a person has more needs because of a disability, it is the duty of the government to provide it! It is the government that has a duty towards the people that elected them, and not the other way around. I hope they realise that. Singapore has made huge economic progress since our independence, but sometimes I wonder what price have we paid for it.

porno pics

This is probably one of the most interesting series of photos I've seen. For those of you hoping for hardcore porn, sorry to disappoint. With pornography completely permeating western society, and with the internet, everyone can access it now, even the people in socially "repressed" societies like singapore where porn is banned (cos of it's morally corrupting influence, obviously) have pretty much free access. I have to say that it's probably most men's "secret sins". Strange how it's like almost everyone watches/looks at porn, but almost no one talks about it. Or maybe I'm just surrounded by polite people. It's really difficult living as a Christian where sexuality has become such a blase thing that we no longer bat an eyelid at it. Sex is used to sell everything, one can't walk down the street without being assailed from all sides by titillatting images selling anything from soap, to mobile phones, to ice cream. Ok, so it's just a series of extremely disjointed thoughts. I figured I'd write it down anyway.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

The Sandman

I've found that Neil Gaiman has a journal on his site! I have no idea why I missed it before, probably because I've never really been into reading journals/blogs. But now I can fulfill my Neil Gaiman stalker fantasy by reading about his life! *evil grin* Well, for those of you who don't know, he's probably one of my favourite writers of all time. I pretty much managed to get my hands on all of his works (barring a few) AND infected a couple of other people at the same time. Not bad I say. His works on The Sandman and associated world have probably done more to influence me than any other fiction writer.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

desire

And all the promises we've made
From the cradle to the grave
And all I want
Is you

Life has meaning again.

Awwriight! The incubator is finally here! So chuffed I'm actually giggling with glee. After months of frustration, and very impatient waiting, it's finally arrived. Now I can actually get on with some science as opposed to sitting at my desk everyday, pretending to do work but instead a) icqing b) caning suprnova c) staring at ayumi's gorgeous face. For a glimpse of it, click here.

Had the first bible study at D and A's place. It was really good. First time I've actually had bs with friends, as opposed to complete strangers or people that I only know on a superficial level. I think christians in general need this. To have a close knit group of fellow christians to meet up with regularly, to encourage and support one another. God knows, it's difficult to hold on to your beliefs and to walk the walk living in London. Well, we'll go into it hardcore and proper next week. Which should be interesting. D's gonna lead again, and since he did a great job last night, next week should be interesting. :)

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Incubators and Cigarettes

I've had the strangest night. I dreamt about the current lack of incubator space in the lab, and wanting to quit smoking. Here's how it went.

Scene 1:
*Random british guy in a suit sitting down for a cigarette at random social thing*

Guy: Hey man, got a light?
Me: I didn't know you smoked.
Guy: Yeah, I've been trying to quit for ages.
Me: Yeah! Me too, it's really hard. Was thinking of the NHS smoking hotline thing.

Scene 2:
*Somewhere around New Engineering Building*

Me: Damn man, when is S going to finish with the incubator?
T: I dunno man.
Me: He's been in there for ages! I need to grow some cells.

This is my sad life.

much ado about nothing

Ok, so I'm plagiarising from the Bard a bit. But that pretty much sums up my week, well, the past four days that I've been missing anyways. I guess I've been mucking about, like writing that damn paper, but somehow it seems that everything's one big blur. Can't really remember one day from the next. Yeah.... I've actually reached that state of blankness. The paper and reading various blogs. Oh yeah.... and the evil that is Need For Speed Underground. Damn I hate/love that game. Too addictive. Sometimes I wonder where my life has gone.

Ok, so here I go. Met T's girlfriend at our usual friday after work pints. Not bad, she seems like a nice girl, and they are a cute couple. It's so sweet to see them together, especially after hearing about her for an entire year, finally get to meet her. Watching them together makes me wish that WB and I were in the same country. Long distance is good in a way, cos we both have our own space (Lord knows we need it), but still, the loneliness gets me. And I just wish we could be in the same country, and that she could be here to share moments with me, instead of belated sharing via the telephone.

Went to see Incredibles this evening with W and H. It was amazing! Definitely met my expectations. For any of you out there who haven't seen it yet, go catch it! Pixar rocks! I think they've got it right. I mean, pretty much every single movie that they've come out with has been great. They've got a winning combination in their production team over there. I''ve decided that my children are going to grow up on a diet of Pixar and Disney movies.... Muahaha.... already planning their social conditioning.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

korean food and tang yuan

Met up with D for dinner last night, and though I'm generally not a fan of Korean food, this beef and generic vegetable steamboat/hot shallow pot thing was quite good. Might end up being a convert. For anyone interested, the place is called Woo Jung, and it's at Tottenham Court Road, next to the bus station, underneath this big ass ugly building called Centrepoint (no, not the beige lego block on orchard road).

Went back to his cool pad, where N kindly offered to make us tang yuan, these starchy dough balls stuffed with various kinds of paste and boiled in syrup. All in all, quite a decent night, consumed loads of dead animal flesh, and good conversation.

We might start a bible study at his place on monday night. Think it's a great idea. A lot about christian living is fellowship. I never used to think much of it, seeing as all people tend to do is disappoint you, but recently, I've come round to the idea. It's all to do with accountability. We tend to lead our own lives, the way we want to, with our secret sins and skeletons in the closet. And even with the "fellowship" at church, there's no pressing need to share our lives with the people we meet on a superficial level once a week.

But what W said is right, who we end up turning into, is a function of the company we keep, and the books we read. And having friends that you can feel comfortable enough to be accountable to is more in important that it initially appears. To shake you out of your complacent, comfortable existence. Or even to rebuke you when it's deserved. Running the race together, it's easier to run in the right lane, than going solo.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

2am writer's block

Okay, it's freaking 2am on a sunday morning I'm still up. I'm supposed to be writing 2 papers right now, 1 of which I haven't started, and the other isn't nearly as finished as it's supposed to be right now, in November. Arrgh!! It's *&*(& November already!?!? W reckons there's no such thing as a writer's block. I'd love to disagree, but she's so damn persuasive, I just have to settle for procrastination as a substitute excuse. (Don't kill me!)

Supposed to be caning the paper this weekend, since I'm on duty, and stuck in the hall. Grr..... So far no major incidents, other than some freaking moron kids trying to vandalise the hall's fire escape door. One even chucked a stone at me when I went out to chase them away. Little shit fuckers.

Back to the paper..... or some semblance of one......

The elitist me

After checking out M's blog, I decided to find out what kind of elitest I am as well! Here it goes.


HASH(0x89474e8)
Name the era, and you can name every artist from
it. You've got an eye for design and a knack
for feng shui. Color schemes, architecture, and
objt d'art - these are all your forts.
What people love: You're the perfect person to shop
with.
What people hate: They have to clean their house
whenever you come over.


What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by
Quizilla

This is so true! It pretty much hit the nail on the head, expect for the bit about naming artists from every era, a little rusty in that department. Other than that, this quiz is really quite good. And yeah, though it's a little gay, I do tend to get dragged around shopping by various people of the opposite sex.


Hmm..... and several people can attest to the fact that during undergrad days, I actually went over to their places and started vacuuming up their apartments for them. Worrying? Just a little.

Friday, November 12, 2004

kick the bucket

To give you guys an indication of how bored/boh liao the PhD students in UCL are, my office now has a list of on the white board of people most likely to kick the bucket first. Here it is.

Cloisters' List of Mortality

Elizabeth Taylor (most married/divorced woman on earth) AW
The Pope (creaky head of world's smallest state) AT
George Best (alcy ex footie person) TB
Prince Bernard (random royalty) PK
Saddam Hussein (bearded perpetrator of WMD) IA
Fidel Castro (bearded commy all round evil guy) AB
Michael Jackson (alien who really loves children) EC

Thursday, November 11, 2004

death of a freedom fighter

Yasser Arafat died today. Quite a sobering moment, he's always been around in the news for as long as I can remember, since my childhood years with my Dad watching the news. The man truly commanded respect, from me at least, though he was a such a contraversial figure. Was he a terrorist, or a freedom fighter? Struggling for the liberty of his people, against the evil imperialist western cultures. I'm not sure. Though I prefer to think of him as someone who did his best. The world and the Israeli situation is more complicated than can be described in black and white definitions of good and evil.

I think the fray that will result in the power void will be pretty catastrophic. Better to deal with the "devil" you know than the "devil" you don't. It's just strange, all my adult/concious life this struggle has been going on, it became especially real to me when I lived with Adi (this israeli boy) during my A' Levels. It's not just some mess that's happening in some far off land. It affects real people, and destroys real lives. It's too easy to get desensitized in this media filled world where there is information overload everywhere you turn. Some "evil dictator", genocide in africa etc etc. We've too easily become jaded and cold.

I'm going to end off with a quote from the man himself.

"I have come bearing an olive branch and a freedom fighter's gun. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hands."

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

my woman is amazing!

my woman is great! I've finally received the new york pics from her, and they're amazing, as well as the kick ass conference notes. wb rocks! sigh, albeit too far away...:( can't wait till we can be together again.

episode iii and other stuff

the trailer for star wars episode iii is out! this is going to seriously kick some ass. I'm not going to spoil it for any of my readers who might have no idea what's going to happen, but basically, I've got high hopes for this one. which will invariably be let down, because george lucas is a CRAP director! ok, kudos to him for creating the star wars universe, but seriously, his directing abilities are suspect. oh well, considering I don't have any other options, I'm just going have to learn to accept episode iii the way it is. going to attempt to source for tickets to the london leicester square premiere. managed to persuade tustian to join me as well.

su's started her own blog as well. guess I'll have yet another life to read about now. how sad, my life has degenerated to the point where, in an attempt to make it more interesting, I now read about other people's mundane lives. geez. need to get some experiments done, generic wmd or something.... anything to make it more interesting.

Monday, November 08, 2004

blogging

**music: new order - substance **

su came over the other day, and showed me this random blog. interesting to say the least. i had no idea that singapore ranks as the country with the most bloggers, and that it was such a social phenomenon that it deserved media coverage (or it could just be something to do with singaporean media). i wonder what this says about our lives, in this age, this "western" society. are we all attention seeking, lonely people craving some form of vindication? that being said, here i am posting up my drivel on the internet (plank in my own eye?)

jake mentioned this new word to me the other day in response to the news that i had started this. GRAPHOMANIA, evidently someone's already thought about this.

Saturday, November 06, 2004

Blue Mountain

here's my favourite kadinsky, currently sitting in wb's office. absolutely amazing. i saw it in the guggenheim and was just sucked into the the painting. impressionist/post-impressionist art isn't everyone's bag, but i guess for me there is just something about the feelings conveyed that are so mesmorising. and let's not even get into monet, I mean, how many shades of white are there??

Friday, November 05, 2004

values-whores

gotta love it..

"I disagree that Democrats need to jump aboard the values express. … Democrats should not become value-whores like the GOP. That would only accelerate the Talibanizaton of America"

redheads

has anyone recently noticed the rise and rise of lindsay lohan? it's strangely perverted, but the girl is seriously hot. i'm talking on a stellar level here. of course terribly worrying considering she's only 18.... i might have to seek help about that.... something freudian....

btw, the amazing gabriel and dresden at turnnmills tonight..... smoking..

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

1st entry

i've finally succumbed. thought i might have been able to avoid it, but no.... joined the millions of people who think that their lives and opinions are actually worth reading. so here i am make my first entry. how sad. well, that's life i guess, can't fight it, might as well follow eh?

actually stayed up last night to watch the election. too mesmerising...... guess it's old news now, kerry conceding. i've resolutely decided to become a bush (isn't that pubic hair? shrubbery?) supporter, for the hell of it. fat lot of good being anti-republican has been. heck.... why not just join along for the party right? "oh soo can you see......" (I have no idea how the rest goes) if God be for us, who can be against us....